It’s trendy to talk right now about “marginalized people”, and post about how we all have to try harder to make the marginalized feel welcome, feel part of the group. We sign petitions, post memes about the people who are outside dominant society, call for great social change… and yes, it’s important to be aware of this…

But I’ll tell you a hard truth:

Right now, there are people within your sphere of friends who are also marginalized… and they are in as much anguish as the people in the news, the memes, the PSAs… they are that person you don’t think about very often, if at all; the person who is left out from the party invitations, who you always mean to invite out for the day but forget to invite, the person who you never remember to respond to their calls, whose emails you don’t reply to, ignore their emails.

They are the person you always mean to invite for lunch, but don’t… invite over for a day of chatting, but don’t.

Yes, they are sometimes difficult, maybe awkward, maybe a little pushy or insistent on being right; or maybe they are shy and don’t offer scintillating conversation, or they are too serious and you think they’ll bring your celebration down… but you know what?

They are the ones who need love and understanding, who are left outside, always looking in and wondering what happened.

They are the ones whose hearts are breaking, whose tears fall unseen, whose dreams are fading…

If we can find room in our thoughts and hearts for the marginalized we do not know, surely, we can do better with those we know?