I hear the phrase “You should not judge others” used a lot when people are observing other people around them whose words or actions/ behaviors attract notice.  In too many cases, “You should not judge others” becomes an escape from engagement or conflict. These words become a way to stop people setting high standards, create confusion in deciding between right or wrong , or make excuses for or try to justify all manner of words or actions or practices, as though it is a negative to  take place.

The error lies in not understanding the meanings of words. First, I’m going to set out some operational definitions for this article:

Judge: we all form opinions or draw conclusions about people, events, ideas, things we observe every day. But to judge these things, we are called on to form an opinion or conclusion through thoughtful weighing of evidence, through proper inquiry,  deliberation and reflection. This enables us to decide if someone or something is good or bad; to comprehend or predict what the consequences of ideas, words, actions ore events might be for not just ourselves, but others.

Judgment: the ability to make good decisions or come to sensible, reasoned conclusions about something or someone. When we practice using judgment and discernment, we are able to shape a thoughtful, accurate opinion about something.

 Judgmental: when we let our own biases or pre-formed opinions or our beliefs affect our judgment, we can become overly critical of something or someone before we have developed a reasoned position; this can lead to fault-finding, labeling, disapproving of someone or something without sound judgment.

Judgment is good– it allows you to exercise discernment, sharpens your perceptions, make well-considered decisions, develop insight into things, arrive at sensible conclusions,  and develop an ability to accurately assess events, ideas and people or information.

Even judging can be good, if used correctly. Judging allows us to form an opinion or draw a conclusion about something or someone once we have listened to, researched and carefully examined an issue, information we are given, person or event.

The real problems lies in the fact that people don’t use judgment and don’t judge with an eye to understanding or forming a considered opinion, but become judgmental in order to confirm their own biases or shape their opinion around emotional buzz words rather than around actual thought, drawing a conclusion without considering all or any of the facts, or letting their biases, prejudices or beliefs color their interpretation of the facts.

Or they use judging the way the Urban dictionary does: “The act of looking down upon someone; to regard with contempt or disdain; to regard as an inferior.”

“Some people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.”
William Fitzjames Oldham

And of course, we also need to consider what the term “Thinking” can mean- because it can mean two different things:  To actively focus on connecting ideas, to reflect on an issue and the elements within it, to study an idea or subject with a mind to understand it based on research, facts and known, proven factors; to ponder or contemplate an idea or subject or, to develop a particular opinion, belief, or idea about someone or something, which can include a perception without reflection or proven facts, conjectures, assumptions and emotional responses more than rational proofs or facts.

The first way of thinking helps a person be less gullible to manipulation and deception; the second can lead a person into being easily persuaded to believe something even when false or misrepresented, ready to believe lies and be deceived, and credulous. This makes a person vulnerable to being easily tricked, lied to, led into an ill-advised course of action or speech, and into believing things that are both unlikely and unsupported by evidence.

So yes, we must consider and judge a situation or person’s character, assess it carefully and then, using judgment and discernment, take a position on something or determine if someone is a positive or negative element in our lives and the lives of others. We must learn to do this without being judgmental, but by using proper judgment, so that we do not excuse, justify, ignore or enable negatives, and without letting our prejudices, biases, or fears determine how we react to someone or something.

That is the test of your own character as well as the test of a nation and a civilization.